Bedbugs

Awakened at an ungodly hour by a TV set left on, where to two info-mercials: one a demand to call my own incontinence specialist and another BED BUGS so large and with mean faces that you might as well name them and set a places at the dinner table. They can bite you (and your pets) in the middle of the night. Replacing your mattress won't work (how stupid could you be?), they'll be back and back with a vengeance and with their friends. Some people--and yes they show us the receipts to prove it--spend thousands of dollars hiring men in hazmat suits to come in and put deadly chemicals on their mattresses to get rid of them???? When I could have prevented all of this night time distraught, had I just purchased Fabriclear? Why, dear God in heaven, why was I not smart enough, quick enough, forward thinking enough to foresee that this infestation was happening right under my buttocks every night, that the neighbors had them (denying it of course--only banjo music emanates from their homes); some of the people I work with, smile pleasantly enough during the day, walk past me, whispering, "he has bedbugs, don't you know". Go right ahead and talk, I'll sneak into the office on Monday and label the next few packages to them, "Incontinence Supplies".